Martha Ruske, MFT
Recovery Life Coaching
Helping people in recovery step out into the fuller life they deserve
Wondering why you’re feeling stalled in your recovery?
You’ve gotten clean and sober and made major changes in your life – so what’s the problem? You’ve accomplished what at one time seemed inconceivable. You’ve attended 12-step meetings or some other recovery program. You’ve probably spent time in therapy and healed many issues from your past. You’ve done most everything you’re supposed to do, and your life is better in so many ways.
You’d like to go on to bigger things – a new job, change in career, find a mate – but aren’t sure why this isn’t happening. Maybe you’re feeling anxious or depressed at times. Maybe some compulsive behaviors – like overeating or overspending – are becoming problems. You’re asking yourself, is this as good as it gets?
Many resources now exist for people in recovery
So much is out there – how do you decide what is best for you? You might think of returning to therapy because that’s the usual move when we think something is wrong with us. If you’re in 12-step, you could increase your meetings, redo the steps, or change sponsors. You might add another 12-step program or two to the one you’re already working. Maybe you’re thinking of giving up 12-step altogether. Or you could do nothing and hope that any problems go away on their own.
If all these resources are out there, why isn’t something working?
They aren’t working because they aren’t geared for what you need right now in your stage of recovery. Therapy is great for examining the past and dealing with psychological trauma. But it can feel like going backwards in time for someone who has already turned their life around in a big way.
The 12-step programs are wonderful and have saved millions of people, and certainly working the steps continues to be relevant. But the bottom line is, more effort has been spent getting people into programs and keeping them sober than in looking at what happens to them long-term.
Longer-term recovery has usually meant simply doing more of whatever you did in early-stage recovery, or dropping a recovery focus and just going back out into the world without any support tailored to your situation.
Develop a flexible life program that addresses what you need now
Recovery life coaching can be a very effective way of helping you move forward while getting the support and structure that you need. Instead of thinking that something is wrong with you, recognize your discomfort and stuckness as indications that your recovery is working, and that you are ready to advance to the next level. Use a service specifically developed for later-stage recovery.
Because the path of recovery is different for everyone, you need to:
- Have a way to assess where you are now and where you want to go
- Create a flexible life program that addresses the components of a healthy self-focus and recovery
- Deal with any current issues or stressors
- Examine those tenacious, self-defeating beliefs, roles, and behaviors as they come up and work with them in a different way
- Handle any unfinished business that is hanging over your head
- Assess personal values and create meaningful new goals
- Determine what steps you need to take to fulfill those goals and get support along the way
Does this sound like a tall order?
Hi, I’m Martha Ruske, founder of Intentional Path and a therapist and coach. Some helping professionals are baffled and uncomfortable with addictions, and don’t like to work with people who've had them. I’ve always enjoyed working with people in recovery because I have great respect for the strength that it took for us to get where we are. We can leverage this strength to succeed in all the areas of our lives.
How do you get there?
Here are my recommended steps to get you started:
- Step One: Go here to get your free copy of the Befriending Yourself workbook along with the twice monthly Intentional Path e-zine that will give you practical information as you continue your growth in long-term recovery.
- Step Two: Browse through Who Can Benefit? and How it Works. Read about the stages and tasks that recovering people face in middle or later recovery, as opposed to early recovery. It might help to put some of the things you’re going through in context. Some of the problems or difficulties you have might be common life problems that everyone faces, but you have the advantage of already having made some major life changes.
- Step Three: Tell me about your recovery and the challenges you are facing. Send me an e-mail, or call me, and share what is in your heart. I want you to know that you're not alone in your journey. I’m happy to talk to you at no charge and we can figure out together where you need to go. E-mail or call (415) 256-1755.
“At the personal level, the key to successful living is continuous personal change. Personal change is the way to avoid slow death.”
Robert E. Quinn