Martha Ruske, MFT
Recovery Life Coaching
INTENTIONAL PATH
“Helping people in long-term recovery step out
into the fuller life they deserve.”
September 13, 2005
In This Issue:
- Hurricane Katrina
- Free Teleworkshop
- Lead Article---"When I’m 64" – are you ready to get older?
- Plan now for the New Year
- Projects in the Works
- New on the Website
1. Hurricane Katrina
At this point a couple of weeks have passed since our latest national catastrophe. There are countless ways for us to donate our time, our money, and other resources. I want to remind you also of the power of your word. Write your Congresspersons, the President, letters to the editor, whomever, about how you feel, what you believe, and how you think things should be changed. If your heart has been calling you to share, I encourage you to do so too.
2. Free teleworkshop
Sometimes we let a backlog of unfinished business hold us back from taking action on other things. Would you like a tried and true method to release one of the items on your “things to do” list? A method that is FREE?
Lest you imagine that these things make no difference, listen to the story of B. who recently participated on a call that I was on. She took as her project the cleaning up of an old rocking chair that had been in her basement for the last 10 years. She got out the Murphy’s Oil Soap, wiped off all the old dust and grime and shined it up. Then her father-in-law glued on some of the back supports that had come apart. After about 2 hours she was able to put it in a place of honor in her living room.
Why does it matter? That rocking chair had been the place where B. nursed all of her children and it held fond memories for her. When her - then adult - son died a decade ago she couldn’t face looking at the chair anymore and relegated it to the basement. Those 2 hours spent cleaning the chair were her process of healing and moving forward in a beautiful way.
You might not have anything as dramatic to work on, but I bet as you read this there is something you’d like commit to. Click on the link to sign up for the next FREE THURSDAY STEP OUT on September 22.
3. Lead Article – "When I’m 64" – are you prepared to get older?
When I was on vacation last month, I visited my 91-year-old uncle in the Midwest.
Uncle Bob is an amazing man for many reasons. He continues to be member of SCORE and counsels people starting up small businesses so they can obtain needed bank loans. He makes toys, and other things, for Kiwanis in his woodshop as a hobby. He has to remind himself to slow down because he forgets that he is 91.
Last year he started to take trips to all the places he’s wanted to go, but hesitated because my aunt wasn’t up to it, including cruising to Alaska, and taking a paddleboat ride on the Snake River to follow the Lewis and Clark trail.
When he was about 80, his knees were giving out. It was very painful for him to walk, and he thought about knee replacement surgery. His doctors discouraged it because of his age (probably figuring it wasn’t worth it, he wouldn’t be living that much longer anyway.) But by 85 he decided to do it and that gave him new impetus to step out and never look back.
Last year he moved into an assisted living facility, not because he needs assistance, but because he was alone in a 4-bedroom house and thought it would be prudent to set himself up for the future. I visited him in his new place. Most of the people around him were much less mobile than he was. Some weren’t all together there mentally.
Uncle Bob remarked that although many had led active lives, they “retired” to play golf and didn’t know what to do with themselves when golf was no longer an option. Uncle Bob never retired; he stopped working for pay but never put himself out to pasture.
I became increasingly uneasy and realized that I was up against all those things that we (I) usually ward off: the knowledge that I will become old, and perhaps helpless and infirm. The knowledge that one day I will die. The knowledge that one day I might be unable to take care of myself.
These realizations make us uncomfortable and cause us to live in denial, resisting planning for times that we know will come. The uncertainty comes from not knowing exactly when we’ll need help, or what state we’ll be in. (Sort of like the government and the levees in New Orleans.) Not thinking about it doesn’t mean it won’t happen, it just means that we will be less able to cope when it does happen.
The lesson I took away from this is that, God willing, I will be 91 one day, and although I don’t have control over the future, the decisions I make about my life NOW will affect how well, or ill, I am living THEN. It really brought home to me that what I do today has consequences for tomorrow.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Are you living in a way that promotes health?
- Are you keeping your mind active and challenged?
- Are you giving of yourself to other people?
- Are you living each day as fully as you can (This isn’t the same as packing in every possible activity and chore you can think of.)
- Are you free of regrets?
- Are you paying attention to your spiritual life?
- Are you living for today, but also making plans for tomorrow?
- Are you pleased with your recovery and where you find yourself today?
If you can’t answer “yes” to these questions, consider what adjustments you want to start making NOW so that when you’re 91 (or so) you don’t look back and wish you had done things differently.
You don’t have to do it alone. There’s no stigma in asking for support: go here to find out more.
4. Plan NOW for the New Year
I find I am much more energized in the fall. While my husband loves summer and gets depressed with the shorter days, I find that I have the desire to work on all kinds of things.
Are you experiencing a similar kindling of energy? Do you have the desire to get started on something NOW – writing a book, starting a spiritual practice, recommitting to self-care? Don’t wait till New Year’s Eve and make a short-lived resolution. Instead get a jump start with recovery life coaching. Send me a line here.
5. Projects in the Works
“Becoming More Visible” - New Teleclass!
As you step out into a larger and larger life in recovery, you’ll also face the challenge of Becoming More Visible. Learn how to minimize the discomfort and maximize the joy in this 4-part teleclass. I’ll be announcing the dates shortly in a separate email.
“Correct Your Distorted Thinking” - New ecourse!
Thank you all for being so patient. Writing an ecourse is new for me, and it’s taken me longer than I thought it would to get it done. I’m looking forward to getting it out on October 1. To those of you who have contacted me, I have your names and will send you a sign-up email just as soon as it’s available. If you don’t have a clue as to what I’m talking about, take a look here:
This course is free to you, as long as you’re willing to give me some feedback as to what you found helpful, and not so helpful.
6. New on the Website
I’ve added a link for “America on the Move” to the site. If you use a pedometer, or keep track of your exercise minutes, you can record your progress on the Appalachian Trail, Highway 50, the Alaskan Highway, or the Lewis and Clark Trail. Go here to check it out.
About this e-zine
Copyright by Martha Ruske, MFT
Intentional Path is published semi-monthly for people in long-term recovery who want to step out into the fuller life they deserve.
This newsletter can be freely distributed or forwarded to others without special permission provided it is used for nonprofit purposes and full attribution and copyright notice are given.
Also, you may use my articles in your own e-zine or website. Please credit any excerpts to Martha Ruske, MFT and the “Intentional Path” website at:
www.intentionalpath.com.