Martha Ruske, MFT
Recovery Life Coaching

Work with Individuals

At this point you may have looked through the site, perhaps downloaded and worked on the Befriending Yourself workbook, and started getting the newsletter. You know that more is possible for you and you’re looking for the next step. 

First of all, congratulations on your recovery.  It's probably the most important thing you have ever done in your life.  I can’t emphasize this enough – whenever you get down on yourself, remember what you have accomplished.  Few people have done what you have been able to do, and you can build on this strength.

Your recovery is unique to you.  When you got sober, you most likely met people who were following the same steps as you.  But now, several years later, those people may no longer be around.  You might feel alone, or that you are headed in a different direction from others.

Are these familiar:  Feeling kind of isolated?  Feeling different from others?  Feeling like you have to go it alone because no one else will understand?  

What happens when you ignore these feelings?  These are some of the things you might be saying to yourself:

  • "I’ll deal with it tomorrow."
  • "Things aren’t really that bad."
  • "I don’t know what to do so I won’t do anything."
  • "I’m not having fun.  Sobriety isn't all that great."

On the other hand, what happens when you decide to make a change and reach out for help?  You know yourself how powerful that can be.  You know that change is possible because you have done it.  Sometimes you need someone outside of your immediate circle, someone who understands how important it is for you to stay sober while living an enjoyable and fulfilling life.  Someone who doesn’t overemphasize your recovery or use it to label you, but who also knows what you went through to get to where you are now.

Martha,

Through my work with you, I have brought a focus and clarity to what I am creating with my coaching business and my entire life. I have found a way to maintain the balance with my business, art endeavors, mothering and all the rest of my wonderfully rich life. I have expanded my ability to be present, to accept and be patient.

This is a huge achievement for me as a "recovering perfectionist". My life experience feels much more grounded in reality and yet I am still able to see new possibilities and create from that place where all things are possible.

Working with you is a gentle and affirming experience in which I have been able to go deeply into areas where I have been stuck and bring light and breath and move through it.

Thank you for your support and what it makes available to my life and those I touch.
Ryl B. W.

Here’s what you need at this stage of your recovery:

  1. Make adjustments to your self-care.
    I find that when things aren’t going well there is often neglect of self-care.  You may have had a good program once but you let things lapse when you got more secure in your sobriety.  Plus you’re older now.  You might need to be doing different things for yourself. 
  2. Learn how to quiet your inner critic.
    The critical inner voice can be relentless, and may hinder your success in recovery. It isn't you. You can learn how to confront it and develop compassion for yourself instead.
  3. Handle unfinished business.
    There might be things that are bothering you that couldn’t be handled earlier in your recovery. They haven’t gone away and now they are draining you and holding you back. Everything in its own time.
  4. Set a new course with definite steps.
    Maybe you’ve been underperforming because the emphasis was on sobriety, and only on sobriety. You haven’t challenged yourself with moving on to bigger things.  Develop goals that are worthy of your new status.

I love to work with people in recovery because we share a common language, common experience.  And I love the commitment that people in recovery have. It's knowing that we've been at our worst in a place we never want to go back to that we were able to claw ourselves out of. Remembering what it was like and what it’s like now gives hope to even the worst day.  How many people know what that feels like?

Martha is a supportive and caring life coach.  While I was in college full time and overwhelmed with too much to do and too little time Martha helped me recognize my strengths and priorities and gave me life management tools that helped me develop a more positive and focused outlook to achieve my academic and personal goals.
Suzanna A.

Coaching can make a big difference in your life now.  What are the benefits?

  • Relief – knowing that you are not alone, and that you'll be listened to and understood. 
  • Structure – regular practices to build on, in case your life has gotten a little too loose.
  • Back-up – someone you can talk to outside of your immediate circle when things get hard or confusing. 
  • New Outlook - getting a fresh look at unfinished business, or new ways of dealing with old problems.
  • Accountability – regular sessions by phone, with homework and e-mail contact in-between. 
  • Deepening your connection - with yourself, your Higher Power, and with another human being -me.
  • Regaining energy - the energy that has been drained by settling for less or by compromising goals.
  • Framing your future – putting words to dreams you may have had but let go; developing new directions for yourself that really fit.
  • Seeing tangible results - moving forward with your life instead of staying with the status quo

The greatest benefit is that you'll feel better about yourself for making a decision and taking action.

Individual Sessions

We start with what I call a "recovery snapshot."  This is a worksheet that you can download and fill out before we meet the first time.  It asks a bit about your past, and what happened to you, but mostly it deals with the present and what you are hoping for in the future.

We'll use this as the basis for setting the goals for our work together. We need to be clear about our destination so that we can use our time together efficiently.

We’ll have 3 individual 45-minute sessions per month .  We'll usually meet the first 3 weeks of the month, taking the last week off.  There is no minimum time commitment, but I encourage you to mentally commit to 3 months.  At that point we'll evaluate where we are.  Some people can accomplish what they want in 3 months and feel complete, while others may wish to continue.

Because every recovery is unique, there is no standard path.  But these are some likely topics that could come up:

  • Finding ways to stop moving and quiet your thoughts so that you can hear your inner guide
  • Recommitting to good self-care and creating a flexible life plan so your can attain it
  • Making changes without being rigid or authoritarian with yourself
  • Working with issues that are troubling you in the moment, and finding creative ways to solve them
  • Learning the 10 forms of "twisted thinking" that lead to negative moods and depression
  • Starting or deepening a spiritual practice
  • Expanding your circle of contacts to include more people who are not in recovery
  • Examining self-defeating beliefs and behaviors as they occur, and finding ways to change  them
  • Looking at relapse and being alert to your possible triggers
  • Tackling unfinished business that is draining your energy
  • Assessing your personal values so that you can determine what best motivates you
  • Creating meaningful goals that you can feel good about and actually accomplish
  • Taking on the concept of wellness

By the end of each telephone session, we will have developed a clear and do-able assignment for you to work on until our next call.

There are other things, besides individual sessions, that will support your movement forward.

  • E-mail support
    You can e-mail me between sessions.  Sometimes questions come up, or maybe you've finished some homework and are excited about reporting in.  Perhaps something disturbing has happened and you’d like help.  Any of this is fine to put in an e-mail.  In fact, I welcome your communications.
  • Written exercises
    I have a number of worksheets on different topics available to send to you. That way you can work on things during the week outside of our usual telephone time.
  • Book library
    I am a librarian as well as a therapist and coach, and I have a deep respect for books.  I also know how much is published and that we can’t possibly read everything. So over the years I’ve put together my own library that has been very helpful to me in recovery, psychology, and coaching.  As we work together, and I get a sense of what might be helpful to you, I will recommend books that you can either purchase or check out from your library.

The monthly cost for individual coaching is $295 for three 45-minute sessions.  To make it convenient, I accept Visa/MC.

Working with Martha was a wonderfully empowering process.  The process began with identifying goals—which for me were in the areas of finances, spirituality and relationship-- and then focused on moving towards manifestation.  By the end of the first year of our work together, I had accomplished every one of the goals I had set, including finding my life partner!  Martha was wonderfully skillful in helping me eliminate the obstacles to my dreams. 
Kris H.

If you want to get started, the best way is to send me an e-mail, telling me where you are in your life right now, and what you’d like to work on. 

If you aren’t sure about starting, that’s fine.  You could still send an e-mail and we could have a conversation about where you are and what might be helpful for you now.  I am committed to helping people in recovery live fuller lives.

"If you deliberately plan to be less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you will be deeply unhappy for the rest of your life."
Abraham Maslow

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